What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Typically, when asked “If you could go back and tell your teenage self one thing, what would it be?” people will generally give the same type of answer.
“Don’t date that person.”
“Invest in Apple.”
“Listen to Mom or Dad on that one thing.”
“So-in-so really isn’t your friend.”
Now me, I have a different view. If I were standing face to face with teenage me, I wouldn’t give any type of advice like that. No, I would be much more like:
“Trust the process.”
“Believe in yourself more.”
“Just know, at the times when it feels like it’s all going wrong, you survive.”
“Accept you’re losing your hair. Don’t wait to start shaving your head.”
See, the thing about giving teenage me advice is that I don’t want to alter course and not end up right where I am.
Every good decision, every bad one. Every mistake and misstep has led me to where I am at, right now. Answering a blog prompt at 5:30 in the morning, up after just 2 hours of sleep. Because my son thought it would be a good idea to start the day that we have a meeting with Preschool, extra early. (Not to mention I have a Zoom meeting in 3.5 hours)
The road to get here was anything but smooth. Transferring out of my preferred college after just 1 semester. Divorced twice, one of those being my high school sweetheart. Being fired from a job, struggling in another. Having hid the birth of my son from my family. Having the court-appointed label “noncustodial parent” and having countless nights spent in tears from fears, loneliness, frustration, or a combination of all three.
I can’t change a single step in that rocky, unorthodox path. Why would I want to? Why would I want to risk ending up at any destination beyond the one I reside in?
Married to a wonderful woman. Truly my other half. My soulmate, who I knew I would marry the moment she climbed into my car on our first date.
I’m a father to three wonderful children. The oldest is getting ready to graduate high school, while the youngest is preparing to start preschool. His two older siblings may not be here all the time, but despite the miles and gaps in time, the three are truly siblings, and I consider that one of my greatest accomplishments.
I have a solid job, with coworkers I talk to every day. I have the freedom to make my schedule most of those days, and it’s a job I thrive in the most when it challenges me.
I still dabble in art, writing, and just creating when I can, just as I did as a teenager. I’m happier when I have an outlet.
Actually, side note, I would give my teenage self one piece of advice. Don’t quit working on your passions, but balance them so that you don’t burn yourself out. And if you find yourself wanting to close the doors on a website or podcast, don’t. Monetize, hire staff and keep pushing.
Of course, like any other, I have daydreamed about how things would be different if one bad decision, at some point on the road here, hadn’t been taken.
My wife always points out that it doesn’t matter, because every decision, good or bad, has led me down the path that has given me my children, my spouse, and my life.
My advice for my teenage self would simply be a quote from Mathew McConaughey: “Just keep livin.”
